The Big Three Zero

With my brother reaching the big three zero this year, and having witnessed a fair few family members reach the milestone over the years, I thought it was only fair that I stopped taking the mick and put myself in their position, taking the time to think about what turning really 30 means.

Perhaps, in reality, celebrating 30 as the epitome of adulthood is a bit outdated. Come on, let’s be completely honest here, who at 30 really knows who they are or where they want to be? Maybe that’s just my youthful wonder shining through because I am yet to figure it (kind of). But from speaking to those around me, it seems like no one really ever knows, so why is there this stigma around turning 30? At 30, do we magically see the light and obtain the past three decades of wisdom in an all-knowing rite of passage? Alternatively, do we suddenly feel the urge to settle and no longer battle with risks? What is it about 30 that is so daunting?

My generation will know all too well the scenes from “Friends” where the members of the gang all turn 30, each one in a fit of despair at the prospect of their fun loving life coming to the end. But really? Come on, it’s just a number, how can an age change your life THAT drastically? It seems old fashioned that by 30 we need a career, a family, a mortgage…it just doesn’t work like that anymore.

A modern life has turned being 30 into the same as turning 20 (maybe with less of a university lifestyle but still the same). The maturity levels of the people I know have shown me that there’s no difference, but that could just be the people I hang out with! I don’t know if it is just me, but 30 is just not a big deal, why would it be? 30 is no longer mid-life, most of us will way exceed 60 so there’s no rush to think about the future. Times have changed and so should our attitudes to turning 30 (remember this is coming from a 21 year old so I may actually have no idea).

Granted, the big three zero still scares the heebie-jeebies out of me. To me, it is still the turning point of adulthood, I can preach a change of attitudes all I want, I still it see it that way. I see 30 as the beginning of a new chapter, even though it’s actually not that far away. Who knows where I’ll be in 9 years’ time, but I will be 30. I guess it’s the fact your leaving your 20’s, whence you could say “A decade ago I was a teenager” (weird huh?). I think that’s it. Becoming 30 means saying goodbye to your 20’s and consequently realising that your teenage years are long gone. How sad. No one wants to be old, and lucky for us 30 is no longer old, but it is a good way away from being 15. I think we all have goals, and 30 is often the time limit to reach them. For me, learning at least one new language before I’m 30 is a pretty achievable goal, but for a lot of my friends having it’s having their first baby! So when I weigh up turning 30 like that, yea, I can see why it’s scary.

So all in all what does 30 really mean. Is it the be all and end all of teenage life, or is the beginning of a new era, a new chapter of life?

I think it is safe to say that the world definitely does not end at 30. No, it ends at 40.

I joke of course.

Job-Hunting

There once was a girl named Vim,

Her prospects looked rather dim,

After finishing uni,

And turning a little bit loony,

Job-hunting began to get grim.

Applications, research and more,

CV’s and cover letters galore,

Vim’s heart began to sink,

She really needed to think,

About how much, she could endure.

Boring format after boring format,

Her CV became a doormat,

Vim needed something fresh, something new,

Slowly an idea began to stew…

Typing away all night,

Her hair was a worrying sight,

Her research soon became fun,

She wanted her project finished and done,

Her ideas churned, in the moonlight.

Her fingers were tipping and tapping,

Like the alphabet clapping,

Vim began to finish,

Her fears began to diminish,

Her thought process securely mapping.

She finally fell asleep,

Her papers were all in a heap,

Tomorrow would be a better day,

When she could finally say,

“I am NO LONGER a sheep.”

She awoke with a smile,

Time to put her theory on trial,

A list of companies she had,

None of them remotely bad,

All stacked up in a towering pile.

Time to make a proper brew,

She knew what she needed to do,

Vim had more than just a list,

She put job searching in a twist,

To her theory, she stayed true.

Through the night, she had on her research hat,

Not only finding jobs, but specific companies that,

she thought were compatible with her,

And only a few there were…

What made her piles of paper so tall,

Was that Vim had been thorough all in all,

Finding examples of why she wanted to work,

And why she wasn’t an average office clerk,

Her back was finally off the wall.

She spent hours discovering companies she loved,

She hoped they would fit her hand like a glove,

Looking at all the work that they did,

Vim was excited, just like a kid,

And all she needed was a self-motivated shove.

She put her efforts into her cover letter,

She was free from her restraint fetter,

Perfect it had to be,

No longer glum was she,

Vim: a self-proclaimed go-getter.

It’s important to walk off the beaten track,

To stop your cover letter from becoming whack,

It’s easy to get lost, in the crowd,

And forever live on a uni cloud,

Before you crash back down with a smack.

Really find companies suited to you,

And let your enthusiasm shine through,

If you can show real passion,

Honestly, anything could happen,

And you can find your dream job too.

What the future holds we’ll never know,

But doing something different is worth a go,

You don’t want to sit back and regret,

Getting caught up in the careers net,

After three years, that’d be an awful blow.

So despite what you hear, the future is still bright,

There are so many careers and jobs in sight,

Just think carefully before you apply,

And give unorthodox methods a try,

And your career could take a great flight.

Throw away all the humdrum advice,

And listen to your personal vice,

Don’t worry if you’re told you’re wrong,

To your own morals, stay strong,

Otherwise you could pay the price.

Employees will be able to see,

That you’ve done your research, hopefully,

Just remember to make job-hunting fun,

It’ll show through, when you’re done!

Being Quiet in a Loud World

After a long battle against my final year of university, fighting off my dissertation and finals, I have finally found a spare moment to start blogging again (in the midst of job hunting and planning an adventure in India). Something that has struck my recently is the somewhat apparent differences between my quiet and loud friends and I slowly began to question: where do I fit in to this spectrum?

I have recently started an internship in the tech world and I’ve got to say I realised that the introvert in me has been struggling!

Just to set the scene, there is  a lot of socialising whilst the work is taking place and I’m one for getting the work done. The mix of work and speaking is pleasant but it’s often hard to find the balance when the people around you find it so easy to talk but you’re panicking about what needs to be done! I don’t know if it’s just me but I like to know that everything is in order, what needs to be done and most importantly when. And socialising comes second to it. Call me boring if you will, but if a job needs to be done, it needs to be done. However I diverge.

More often than not these days, offices are open plan and everyone is everywhere. It’s hard to find some space to sit and gather your thoughts without someone looking over your shoulder to see what you’re doing. And I know it’s not only me that feels this way, and I finally feel that it’s okay to admit that I’m sometimes on the quieter side of life.

After reading Susan Cain’s ‘Quiet’, I thought I was reassured by the thought of being an introvert. However, I slowly began to confuse myself, am I really an introvert or have I just read that I am? Do I really find it that difficult in social situations or am I convincing myself that I do? I just don’t know anymore! It’s easy to see yourself on every page, but when you sit back and self -assess (and it’s always important to do so) whether it really applies to you.

So walking into a buzzing office with friendly faces was a bit of a shock to the system. It often takes me a while to warm up to new people, I like listening to what others have to say and I like asking questions rather than answering them and I don’t think that’s a crime. In fact, statistics show that people that think this way make the best leaders (or so Quiet says). So why did I feel so out of place?

I think it was the pressure of people expecting you to talk to them. But why should one person have to change for the sake of another? I like talking to people, I really do, I just like to know what I’m talking about before diving in the deep end. And I think it is the employers job to realise these different qualities in people, and sadly I don’t think that they do. More often than not, it is the loud extroverted person that shines in interviews because they’re in their comfort zone, but that doesn’t make them any more qualified for a job than the introvert. It’s just the introvert performs better in the one to one interview than the extrovert, spends more time planning and thinking rather than stating what comes straight into their mind. And yes, this is an over simplification and an exaggeration, the two personality traits aren’t on a dichotomy but the point is clear, there is a difference.  But the employer needs to see the qualities in both of these people, and not always jump on the extroverted band wagon.

I think what bugs me the most is that extroverted people often take the credit for ideas that weren’t their own. In my case, this is definitely true. Just because I don’t voice my idea loudly but say it to one person and implement it, does not mean that the loudest person on the team can, nor should they, take the credit. Indeed, there is not clear way to resolve this other than putting on a false bravado, that or being filmed! The latter being the least socialist idea, I will strive to be louder, but it will be hard and it’s not who I always am. Don’t get me wrong put me with a group of people talking about something that I’m passionate about and I will get my point across, but put me with people that are speaking a foreign lingo of celebrities and gossip and sit quietly and listen.

So why have I decided to write about this? I think it’s important for people to realise that being loud isn’t the only way to be successful. You can be a quiet thinker and your potential will shine through. Despite what Cain says in ‘Quiet’, I don’t always think it’s necessary for you to train yourself to be an extrovert. Yes, social anxiety is a problem but being quiet can sometimes mean being the loudest in room.